Paid content in collaboration with Refinery 29 and Chase.
I have been so excited to partner with Refinery 29 and Chase to bring you an article focusing on delaying kids for my career. This topic can always bring up a debate depending on the company you keep. The age at which someone would define “delaying kids” is different from one person to the next. Since it is all about the company that you keep, I was often in the presence of friends that had multiple kids by the age of 30. The good thing about this was it gave me great perspective on what to expect when children did arrive. For me, my decision was solely one of my own and looking back, I definitely don’t regret it for several reasons.
Maturity was a huge piece of delaying kids. Apart from every goal I had set for my career, I knew that I still needed time to mature emotionally in order to be able to put all my energy on my kids. In my 20’s, I was well aware of my selfish mindset. Whether or not the awareness helped me to grow, I don’t know; but the awareness did help me make the decision to delay having kids.
I believe that maturity, especially for women, comes with time and experience. There is little to no wisdom during your 20’s, but this isn’t a bad thing. It’s just that life hasn’t really happened at this point. For me, I was fortunate to be able to understand this. I wanted to grow in my profession and because of this I knew I needed my EQ (emotional intelligence) to develop as well.
Studies show that in 2018, it costs approximately $233,610 to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. Families can expect to pay $12,000 to $14,000 a year, per child. Granted, this could be more or less depending on your lifestyle.
I didn’t even need to do my research to know that we needed to save as much money as we could and plan for financially raising kids. Since my husband and I both work and I knew I wanted to continue this, we were well aware of the cost of childcare. We never set a timeline for having kids, but through our late 20’s and early 30’s we made every financial decision by putting our savings first.
If you have kids, especially small ones, you know that traveling comes with a price. Delaying kids was the only way we would be able to fit this time in. We wanted to soak in as much travel time together as possible.
As an educator, my work schedule can be tricky for travel. Unfortunately, my time off is usually during peak season. We just made the best of this and took as many trips as our budget would allow. Traveling internationally, cruises, and through the states brought us so many memories and such amazing times together. This was never a regret, especially being on the other side now.
Time was the number one contributor to my ability to reach goals in my career. With late nights, earning several degrees, and networking I was able to establish a foundation for my career. Throughout my career I have worked in different positions. Each position taking my full attention and lots of time to learn the process of each role. Hopping from one position to the next was my own choice because I knew these experiences would grow me and prepare me in order to reach my goals.
By the time I was 30, I was recognized to take a position that would allow me to lead in a new way. Had I had kids throughout this time, I am confident that my timeline would have been completely different. I know I would have loved my kids the same, but I never could have worked at the pace I did in order to reach my goals by the age of 30.
My hope in sharing this story with women is to give them confidence in the decision they make in regards to their careers and having children. For the woman that dreams of a career as a stay at home mom, I hope to inspire them to give all they have to their family because in my opinion, this is the hardest job yet.
For the woman that dreams of climbing to the top of the ladder as a career girl, I hope to inspire them to follow those dreams while also making decisions to put others first. In both scenarios, the ability to recognize your emotional maturity and adjust it by self-reflection is key. The Red Dress girl comes in many forms. Overall, be driven by your dreams and pursue them with all your heart.
